Poetry may be the direct route to immortality, but crime fiction? Hardly.
Ten things you should never do if you are a character in a crime novel:
1) don´t go to that isolated place on your own
2) don´t forget to charge your mobile phone
3) don´t leave your weapon at home
4) don´t open the door to strangers – or friends – or neighbours
5) don´t walk your dog in the park – or on the beach – or anywhere
6) don´t eat mushrooms
7) don´t turn your back to any of the suspects
8) don´t try to find your missing relatives
9) don´t leave your fingerprints around
10) don´t move to Bury St. Edmunds or Midsomer
What is your best advice to all those frivolous characters?